“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” (James 4:1-6)

Back in 1991, an African American man named Rodney King was savagely beaten by white LAPD police officers following a high-speed car chase. A bystander recorded the incident on a camcorder from the balcony of his apartment, and this video footage sparked public outrage about police brutality and race relations. A year later, the nation watched as the four white police officers were put on trial. Three of them were declared not guilty, and the fourth resulted in a kind of legal stalemate called a mistrial. This sparked a powder keg of rage in Los Angeles, and resulted in widespread rioting, looting, arson, violence, and murder. According to Britannica, “more than 50 people were killed, more than 2,300 were injured, and thousands were arrested. About 1,100 buildings were damaged, and total property damage was about $1 billion, which made the riots one of the most-devastating civil disruptions in American history.”

On the third day of the riots, Mr. King himself went on television to try and calm things down. He began his brief but famous speech with these words:

“People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?”

When I was a young man, that quote got taken out of context and memed on and twisted to the point where it became a laughingstock. People would make fun of it the way you make fun of “Kumbaya”—by making it into a caricature, a naive, idealistic principle that could never work in the real world. But Mr. King wasn’t joking. His question was sincere and heartfelt, and it’s actually a fair question. The problem is, he was asking the wrong people. Many American TV viewers at the time—like my family—answered his question with a roll of our eyes and an apathetic shrug of our shoulders. But what does God’s word say?

In our time today, we’re going to try to answer that very question. “Can we all get along?” Let’s see what God’s word has to say.

At War With Our Pleasures

Verse 1 of James chapter 4 asks us a question: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” In other words, what is the root cause of the fact that we are all NOT getting along as we ought to? The answer is as simple as it is profound: “Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” The word translated “passions” here is the Green word ἡδονή, which can also mean “pleasures.”  It’s the same word from which we get the English word hedonism—that is, the radical pursuit of bodily comfort and pleasure.

And these passions—these pleasures—are “at war” within you. The picture here is of an opposing army, lined up for battle, and throwing itself onto the front lines, causing chaos and struggle inside your own soul. Sound familiar? That’s right, it’s our old enemy again, the flesh. While the Word of God tells us not to live for worldly pleasures or sinful passions, the flesh is always at work trying to get us to do the opposite. And one of the primary tools our sinful nature uses to wage war against us is our natural, instinctive human desire to feel good.

Now obviously, no one wants to feel bad. Paul even says in Ephesians 5:29 that “no one ever hated his own body, but nourishes and cherishes it.” But what our sinful nature does is take this natural desire to feel good and raise it above everything else, even God. And by doing so, it controls us. The Bible even goes so far as to say that before we come to know Christ, our desire to feel good is a slave-master that controls us and dominates our lives. Titus 3:3 puts it this way:

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.” 

So what happens when sinful people don’t get what they want? Nothing good! James 4 goes on to say,

“You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” (v2)

In this verse, he explicitly links many of our worst sins to these unfulfilled lusts of our covetous hearts. Sometimes we want something so much, we start to see the people who stand in our way as obstacles that need to be disposed of. Other times we’re willing to damage our relationships with friends and family members just so we can get what we want. We’d rather fight tooth and nail against those we love—maybe even risk losing them—than give up what we want in the moment.

And I think James is making a powerful point here about the value of being content. Think about it: if you were perfectly satisfied with what you have, perfectly happy with where you are, and perfectly content with who you are—what would there be to quarrel about? What reason would you have to argue or fight with people? I can’t think of one. Contentment, then, is one of the most powerful antidotes to strife and quarreling. If you find yourself arguing, maybe take a step back and ask yourself, “What is it that I want here? What is it that I’m really hoping to win from this argument? And can I be content in Jesus even if I don’t get it?”

Now, is it ok to ask God for what we want? Absolutely! Sometimes, that’s all it takes. Look at verse 2 of our passage: “You do not have, because you do not ask.” As Jesus said in Matthew 7,

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8: )

Sounds good right?Well, yes,  but we have to be very careful in how we understand these promises. Because we’re sinful, we tend to take verses like these out of context and try to turn them into a magic spell or a heavenly slot machine that’s ready to pay out jackpots the moment we pull the lever. And you don’t have to look very hard to find prosperity gospel teachers and all sorts of religious grifters who will tell you that God is a vending machine ripe for the plundering. All you need to do is have a little faith and make a big donation to their ministry, and boom, whatever you want, it’s yours!

You want a unicorn? I’ll give it to you
You want a puppy dog? I’ll give it to you
You want an ice cream cone? I’ll give it to you
You want a mortgage loan? I’ll give it to you
You want a satin pillow? I’ll give it to you
You want an armadillo? I’ll give it to you
You want to go to the moon?…..uh… I’ll see what I can do…

Not so fast! That is not what the Bible says. God is not a vending machine, nor can He be manipulated into dispensing our pleasures and passions at will. Far from it! In fact, those who look to God in this way are setting themselves up for shocking disappointment. Look at verse 3 of our passage:

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” (v3)

You see, approaching God with a selfish, sinful mindset of “gimme gimme gimme” is not the kind of prayer that honors Him. Requests that our sinful nature would be fulfilled and gratified are not the kind of petitions that He delights to answer. In fact, sometimes God will even choose to take away what little we have in order to get us to stop pursuing our own wicked ends! Look at what He says to the people of Israel in Haggai 1:9-11:

“You looked for much, and behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why? declares the Lord of hosts. Because of my house that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house. Therefore the heavens above you have withheld the dew, and the earth has withheld its produce. And I have called for a drought on the land and the hills, on the grain, the new wine, the oil, on what the ground brings forth, on man and beast, and on all their labors.”

Yikes! That’s extreme, isn’t it? Why would God do something like that? Is he just jealous? Well, yes, He is, actually. But not in the way you might think.

Jealousy, Pride, and More Grace

Look at verse 5 of our passage:

“Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’”

God is jealous for His people the same way that a husband would be righteously jealous if he saw some other guy trying to hit on his wife. He’d be like, “Hey, buddy, hands off. She’s mine.” That’s what the marriage covenant is, after all—the two will become one flesh. And yet, how often do we as God’s people want to turn away from our heavenly husband to pursue the things of the world!

“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (v4)

But there’s another key thing that God is jealous of: His own glory. “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us.” God has not only given us His one and only Son, whose death on the cross has paid for all our sin. He has also given us His own Spirit to lead us, to comfort us, and to “guide us into all truth” (John 16:13). And He refuses to let us worship anyone else, because that would be a perversion of the glory that He has made to dwell within us. As He says in Isaiah 48:11:

“How should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another.”

And yet, how often have we attempted to “exchange the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things?” (Romans 1:23) How often have we pursued the pleasures and passions of our hearts, and “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever!” (Romans 1:24)

“But he gives more grace.” Those are such beautiful words from verse 6 of James chapter 4. They answer so many of our doubts and fears, our insecurities and worries, don’t they? How can God still love me despite all I’ve done? “He gives more grace.” I’m going through a hard time right now. How am I going to get through this? “He gives more grace.” What if something bad happens to me in the future? “He gives more grace.” And what about all the sins I have yet to commit? What if I make a really bad mistake that changes my life forever? Will God still love me even then? “He gives more grace.” No matter how much grace you think God has in His heart, there is always more.

What riches of kindness He lavished on us!
His blood was the payment, His life was the cost
We stood ‘neath a debt we could never afford,
Our sins they are many, His mercy is more!

How does that make you feel? I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel humbled. It makes me feel like my problems, which were mountains to me, are less than specks of dust to God. And His grace is so powerful, so majestic, so beautiful, that it makes me completely take my eyes off myself and lock them onto God. And that’s how we should feel!

“Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” (v6)

If you set yourself against God, if you raise your fist in defiance of His authority and Kingship, if you exalt yourself and try to set up your own kingdom inside your own heart—then God will oppose you. But if you come to God as a beggar, with nothing to give Him but your need, nothing to lay before Him but your poverty, then “God gives more grace.” And that grace will help you to live with others around you in harmony and peace and joy and love.

Growth In Grace

So, getting back to our original question, is it possible for us all to get along? In and of our sinful selves, no. It’s not. We have too many passions waging war inside us, too many things we’re covetous of or desirous of. As we’ve already read in Romans 8:8 during our Bible study time together, “Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

But for the humble ones who admit their need of a Savior, those who submit their own desires to the will of Him who made them—then yes, it’s possible. But not perfectly. As long as we are in the body, we will be at war with our pleasures and passions, and they will make us want to be at war with one another. But as Christians, we also have the Spirit dwelling inside us.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 2:5-8)

You see, part of how we “get along” is through the process of personal growth and spiritual development. Of course we need faith—faith in Jesus is the door that grants us access to the walk of the Christian life. But you can’t just have faith apart from works! “For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” So yes, you need virtue as well—that is, you need to be growing in holiness and sanctification and being set apart for God from sin and from the world. But you can’t grow in true godliness and holiness without knowing God. You need knowledge—knowledge of what the Bible says and what it doesn’t say.

And that knowledge isn’t just pie-in-the-sky, ivory tower mumbo jumbo. It’s practical, boots-on-the-ground training that makes you more self-controlled. Self-control, of course, empowers you to better wage war against your passions and pleasures. And this in turn helps you to be more stable as a human being—more secure and steadfast, the kind of person that people can rely on. And steadfastness helps you to grow in having a more disciplined and consistent religious practice, which is what the Bible calls “godliness.” And what does true godliness produce? Rather than seeing other people as objects to be used or as obstacles keeping you from what you want, you see them as brothers and sisters in a common humanity that is made in God’s image. And this brotherly affection enables you to love them with true love. Not the selfish, manipulative greediness that the world calls love, but true love that gives without asking and endures to the end.

Faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and ultimately love. THIS is how we all get along—by growth in grace. And notice that the attribute of “love” does not appear at the end of the list randomly. Far from it! True agape love is the end-goal of all our personal growth and spiritual development. We want to more fully conform ourselves to the God of Love, the God who is Love, the God who has and is perfect love within Himself. When we can love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, we will finally be able to love our neighbor as ourselves.

And that day, brothers and sisters, will be glorious. In that day,

“They shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.
But they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree,
and no one shall make them afraid,
for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken.” (Micah 4:3-4)

“The wolf shall dwell with the lamb,and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.
The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra,
and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder’s den.
They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” (Isaiah 6:6-9)

“Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
‘Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!’
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (Psalm 46:8-11)

Amen?

Let’s pray.

Other Messages In This Series:

• Message #1: The Genesis of All Conflict
• Message #2: Saved from God
• Message #3: Our Eternal Enemy
• Message #4: The Flesh Vs. The Spirit
• Message #5: Never Avenge Yourselves
• Message #6: The Root Of Quarreling
• Message #7: Wrap Up & Encouragement